Rational Madness

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

At the recent Miss Universe pageant, when asked about her weakness, Miss USA answers,
"I wear my heart on my shoulder... that keeps me humble."

A fine illustration of the American way of going a-la Melanie Marquez. Quoting a well-known saying or using idioms require that you at least remember the words to express what you mean correctly. According to the idiomatic expression, you "wear your heart on your sleeves" meaning you openly show your emotions. I think she got confused with the other expression, where she might have said she has a good "head on her shoulders" which means she's got some smarts.

And the icing on the cake... to say that you are humble means you're not humble at all.

And that makes you the 4th runner up, Miss USA.

P.S. Forgive me for saying that I believe the reason Miss Philippines won the Miss Photogenic is because a lot of Filipinos voted for her over the internet. Not really because she's the most photogenic among all. By the by her win makes the Philippines the country with the most Miss Photogenic winners. The country also won last year.

she told the story ... 7:06 AM

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Watching Animal Planet last night, I came across the show "Most Extreme Diets in the Animal Kingdom". There, they featured the Emperor Penguins (of March of the Penguins fame) that can go 3 months without eating while they are rearing their young. Salmon that can go 6 months starving just to mate... and the number 1, the tiny common tick (garapata), species of which have been recorded to have gone as much as 18 years waiting for food! Talk about Juan Tamad waiting for food to come by.

Anyways, interpolated in the said show were comparisons to humans. Like, how would a human endure such a diet etc. We can't of course, live 18 years without eating or drinking. Three days and our body would literally eat ourselves alive by taking on the proteins and fat from our organs.

But the most disturbing thing about the show was actually not the sight of a bloodsucking tick that has grown ickily the size of a raisin because it's full of blood. The most disturbing thing was how humans have come a long way when it comes to dieting in a quest to get thinner.

The Atkins diet has been inserted in Mc Donald's salads. Versions of the South Beach Diet has been proliferating in menus in certain restaurants. Watch Home TV Shopping and you're bound to see perhaps 50% of products devoted to trimming the human slob.

But did you know that in the 1920s, when women were obsessed with becoming flapper

dancers, women resorted to a different sort of "diet". They took pills then too. But unlike Xenical, which would lead to several trips to the toilet, they took in a different sort of pill... One that's ickier than ticks. Doctors gave these women a pill that was infused with tape worm eggs! You know what your momma told you when you were young? You were thin because you've got worms in your tummy. Well, that was literally making them thin-- worms! The downside is that, the worms eventually got to be as long as 20 inches and were literally eating their insides! YEULLLCHHH!!!!

I would rather have a healthy bulge than play hostess to a bunch of worms that would eventually make its way out of my body through some hole (like wounds, nose, ears etc.) Why don't we do what penguins do? According to study, drinking cold water could burn energy without altering our daily diet. Why? Because it takes energy to turn the cold water into warm water. Simple. That's why penguins eat snow during mating season... which actually makes them a little thinner. But hey, if you're hungry... EAT!

she told the story ... 7:48 AM

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Minsan lang akong gumimik. I'm a night creature, pero hindi ko hilig gumimik. Ayoko ng disco dahil hindi ako marunong sumayaw. Ayoko ng mga bars kasi hindi ako umiinom at nasu-suffocate ako sa usok ng sigarilyo. At paranoid ako sa kasabihang second-hand smoke is an even more lethal killer than actual smoking.

Anyways, dahil andito ang pinsan kong si Michalis, nagpasya kaming gumimik. Ako, ang ate ko si Michelle, at pinsang sina Kris, Mike, Barry at John. HIndi namin alam kung san kami pupunta... pero dahil nasa Roxas Blvd na kami, tumuloy na kami sa Malate.

Naligaw pa kami sa Malate kakahanap sa Ratsky. Yun lang kasi ang pinakamatino kong maisip na bar sa Malate... nang hindi namin yun mahanap, dumerecho na kami ng Nakpil. Dun marami nang bar at marami na ring mapagtatanungan kung san ang Ratsky. Pagka-park ng kotse, naitanong namin sa mama kung san nga ba ang Ratsky. Dun daw pagkalamas ng Ministop. Paglampas namin ng Ministop, wala namang Ratsky kaming nakita kaya nawala pa kami ulit... Hanggang sa makakita kami ulit ng Ministop...at andun nga ang Ratsky... Sa ilang beses naming hinanap ang bar na ito, hindi na rin kami tumuloy. Hindi kasi namin kilala yung bandang kumakanta....

Dahil wala talaga kaming direksyon, napagpasiyahan namin na mapirmi na muna sa isang lugar dahil pagod at gutom na kaming lahat. Kaya dumerecho na kami sa Padi's Point. P200 consumable na. Baaaad choice. Pag pasok pa lang namin, wala nang kabuhay-buhay ang lugar na ito. Ang dilim, parang hindi mo dapat tingnan ang mga sulok dahil baka may makita kang ayaw mong makita. Eto pa naman yung Padi's na notorious dati dahil may nahuling gumagawa ng milagro... At eto pa, wala man lang palang banda dito sa lugar na ito. Disco lang daw. Dahil may tatak na kami, di na kami pwedeng umalis kaya nag-order na lang kami ng makakakain. Pagkatapos kumain ay lumayas na kami sa lugar na yun. Peste. Baaaaaad choice. HIndi na ako babalik sa Padi's Point, Malate.

Dahil mukhang bored na bored na ang mga boys naming pinsan ay pinapili namin sila. Ano ang gusto nyong puntahan? sa comedy bar o sa mga babae? Tinatanong pa ba yun??? Malamang sa babae!!! E di nagpunta kami sa isang bar sa Nakpil. Ayoko na banggitin ang pangalan baka puntahan mo pa. Pero madali naman yun matunton. P100 ang entrance. May mga ledge dancers dito tulad ng sa Coyote Ugly... siguro naman matutuwa na ang mga pinsan namin... Pagpasok, ayon na nga. Mga girlalu na nagsasayaw ng kung ano-anong "sayaw" daw yun. More like, gumigiling. Umorder na lang kami ng kape... Kape sa BAR!!! Meron silang lead dancer na maganda at napakaganda talaga ng legs. Nakaka-inggit... Subalit--

Maya-maya ayan na ang hindi inaasahan... Ang "Take it off" portion... Ikinagulat ko ng labis nang tanggalin ng isa ang kanyang pantaas! at mas lalo kong kinagulat ng tanggalin ng sumunod na tatlong babae-- including si Christine, yung lead dancer-- ang kanilang pambaba! Yikes!!!! Tuwa talaga ang mga pinsan ko. Tsk. Subalit--

Meron pa! Nang lumalim ang gabi mukhang hindi na maganda ang mga nangyayari... nang tawagin ang isang mamang may "berday" daw. Pinapunta siya sa stage at ginilingan ni Christine. Tinanggalan pa ng damit at ginilingan. Ay bastos na babae. Akala ko pa naman ay may future siya sa EB Babes hehehe. Sa Seiko films pala mapapanood to si Christine kung sakali. Nung mga panahon na yun, pakiramdam ko ay nasa isang cheap bar lang kami. At hindi dapat nanonood ng mga bagay ng tulad non. TSK.

Eto pa!!! May bata ba naman sa loob?!? Pano nangyari na pinayagan nilang papasukin ang isang 5-year-old na batang babae dun? Kahit pa may kasamang magulang, hindi dapat pinapasok yun dahil alam naman nila ang mangyayari sa loob! Tuloy ang kawawang bata ay nagsasayaw rin ng tulad ng mga dancer dun... kawawa talaga. At nakakita na ng mga bagay na di pa niya dapat makita...

Dahil nabastusan na kami (ewan ko lang sa mga pinsan kong boys) lumayas na kami dun at dumerecho na sa Baywalk. Kami namang mga girls ang magsasaya. Gusto kasi namin ng Live band. Andun yung Alamid at kumanta ng kung anik anik... at isang bandang ang tawag ay Resound.. na may poging gitaristang nagngangalang Tristan... Apat na kanta lang ang kinanta ng mga ito at natapos na ang kanilang set...

Natapos na rin ang aming gimik night. Mauulit pa ba ito? Naku. Sa Comedy Bar na lang siguro kung sakali...

she told the story ... 7:22 AM